When Stars Misguide Us

My Art Is My Family

February 11, 2026

Spending moments with one another that make my soul sing, and understanding the difference between an artist and someone who creates art for fun.

Blue painted wall at the local Italian Market with chickens eating Italian food

Post was written on:
Aug 24, 2024

Money is tight right now, but my 1-year-old still needs books to read. What I do is go to the local bookstore and trade in my books to get store credit so I can buy her books. She loves going out. We all get ready to head to the bookstore, which includes me, my wife, my daughter, and my brother.

My brother informs me that he has been looking for skinny jeans (he is in a punk rock phase) and that he can’t find any online.

I told him we can stop at the mall, and he can see if there is any skinny jeans there that he would like. We all head out, and my one-year-old falls asleep on the way.

Me and my brother start discussing pop punk, indie rock, and emo music culture because this is the music I grew up on and showed my brothers and family, and now he enjoys the music and wants to dress like them.

I first drop off the books at the bookstore, and then head over to the mall.

We arrive at the mall, and there are not many people there, even though it is a Friday, and I wonder to myself where everyone goes now in days on a Friday, because back in the day the mall would be packed, but now it is empty.

My brother tries on all kinds of skinny jeans from all different stores and has no luck, so I told him he probably has to go on eBay or to thrift shops to find the early 2000’s skinny jeans he is looking for.

My daughter was having a great time pointing at everything and talking about everything that she sees and she also wanted my brother to hold her, push her stroller, and hold her hand.

My wife, who is pregnant, said to me that she is hungry. I immediately think to myself, we need to leave and feed her. I had a great idea!

We leave the mall and head to our local mall, where there is a family-owned Italian market that sells pizza, subs, and other Italian food. This is one of my wife’s favorite spots.

We get there and say hi to the employees that we know and order our food.

We sit outside eating a chicken parmesan sub, drinking our peach teas, and at the end of our meal, we finish with a big piece of chocolate cake.

We are all talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company.

My daughter takes big bites of my chicken parmesan sandwich while she is eating a small apple. Also, she is dancing at the same time.

When we ate the cake, my daughter loved it (gave her a couple of bites) and was so happy.

To see a child truly happy is one of the most amazing gifts life has to offer.

The market, just like the mall,l is empty even though it is Friday. Since it is empty, I place my daughter down so we can walk around.

It is an outdoor patio with trees, shade, and tables with umbrellas attached. There is also a big, tall wall painted blue that has hand-painted images of Italian food and chickens eating Italian food.

My daughter spots the chicken and starts singing a song, “chicken, chicken, we want chicken” and skipping around and cracking up. My brother joins her, and they both are singing and skipping together.

I stand and watch, and in the moment, I realize that this is a special memory that I will keep close to my heart. I know it is a silly memory, but in some strange way, it is special to me.

We all then head into our local mall, and my daughter is familiar with this mall so she takes our hand and leads the way throughout the mall.

We go to Barnes and Noble (my daughter’s favorite store), and she begins to take books from the shelves and hand them to my wife to do a short read, and then she heads over to the stuffed animals.

We leave the bookstore and head to the Spirit Halloween store. We all love Halloween. There are animatronics scaring people and children, and then there is my one-year-old doing an evil laugh (Muh ha ha ha) right at them. She is walking around the store holding all of our hands and having a blast.

Right next door, there is an arcade that she loves going to, so we take her there. I filled up the card with $5 because it gets us a lot of games for her to play. She plays a water shooting game, a car racing game, a claw prize game, a bowling game, and she wins 108 tickets. She is a lucky player. We head over, and she picks out her prize.

A small neon green bouncy ball. She is proud and excited about her new toy, and we tell her that she won it from playing games.

She takes a picture showing it off, and we all head back home. It was a fun day, and these kinds of days happen two to three times a week.

I love my life and my family. My daughter truly has a piece of my soul, and my wife’s soul,l and it is a beautiful, unreal feeling.

I get home and have an interesting discussion with my mother about being free within your art. I say that to be a truly free artist, you must sacrifice your life to the art, and in doing so, you will have to neglect personal relationships such as family, wife, and kids. My mother says no you don’t have to and you still can be free within your art, even with having responsibilities, but I counter back, saying responsibilities take away from being creative to your full potential.

I told her I am a zero or a hundred kind of person, and I am an artist, but I chose my family over art because it aligns more with my purpose in life. I couldn’t see myself dedicating my time and life to art and not to my wife, kids, and family.

I still do art for fun such as writing, content creation, filming, music etc., but I am not doing it enough to call myself an artist or to say that I have given it my full potential because the majority of my energy is for my family and thinking of ways to make enough money for us to have what we need and at the same time have a good amount of time left to spend with my family. We ended the night in a positive and interesting discussion.

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Hazel Eyes And Love Letters

January 28, 2026

I hope you understand how much I love you.

Photo taken by author: Me and my wife when we were 15 years old

How can I say this correctly? You mean everything to me.

My life is yours, our lives are joint.

The first time your eyes locked onto mine, that brief moment in time, is when you took my soul away.

There is no one like you, and there never will be.

I can’t be jealous of anyone or anything because none of them have you—only me. Love is only an emotion, what we have is different.

We have a connection that can’t be broken.

I appreciate the way you always bring me comfort.

Every kiss brings me butterflies, and I don’t feel so lonely when you hug me.

Time only takes from us, but growing old with you has only given me more love and trust. I couldn’t do this life without you.

I remember writing love letters to you in high school, and you would write them back. The folded-up paper in my pocket reminds me that you are thinking of me as I head to my classes. Youthful love is full of mystery. You were the runner, and I was the chaser.

You knew I loved you and that it was true, but you were young and scared and weren’t quite sure what to do. I grabbed your hand, which always fitted perfectly in mine, and I led our souls.

Thank you for trusting me.

Our past was beautiful, but the present is something that I cherish every moment I am with you. How did I get so lucky?

13 years and I can’t stop gazing at your beauty. I tend to look at the stars at night, but they bore me when you are present with me. Your eyes make me nervous. I hope you understand how much I love you.

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Where Do The Leaves Go When They Are Gone?

January 20, 2026

Contemplating the time we have on this planet and how our choices and actions create a positive or negative existence.

Photo taken by the author at Amelia Island, FL

“Only time will tell where we are going” I read this aloud and lightly close my leather journal.

What does this mean? How does this make me feel?

Why must all these questions creep into my mind? I can’t let it go.

I feel disheartened because the first thought that pops into my mind is “There is no such thing as time”.

When we all leave, we are recreated into stardust.

I get up from my brown leather reading chair and make my way to the front door. I need to visit an old friend of mine.

I hop on my bike and start pedaling. I breathe in the fresh air, but my heart feels heavy.

Why can’t I make any money? I know that I am an intelligent and creative person, but why is it difficult for me to find a job or career? What is wrong with me?

These questions are the reason for my heavy heart.

I finally arrived at my destination.

I lock up my bike at the entrance and make my way inside the trail. The sun is almost disappearing but there is still light outside.

Ancient tall trees surround me in a circle, enclosing me and capturing my soul. I sit on a wooden bench in the center and begin to stare at the mystery of nature.

I have no friends except for my family and the wilderness.

Maybe everything will be okay, but what if it won’t? You must fix the negatives and turn them into positives. Change the equation of your life and do it quickly. Don’t keep adding negatives; add positives to those negatives.

Our lives and this universe work according to numbers.

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Secrets Make You More Like A Book Rather Than A Poster

January 13, 2026

Having secrets makes a person more complex and intriguing, similar to a book with depth and stories, as opposed to a poster, which is straightforward and one-dimensional.

Image taken by the author in Savannah, GA

Mystery is dead in our modern lives. Most people in the Western world willingly inform everyone (through social media) everything about themselves.

Their relationship status, cars, jewelry, friends, vacations, favorite sports team, clothes, etc.

I am not on a higher ground than the majority because I reveal many aspects of my life through social media and even in conversations with people.

With that being said, as I grow older, I realize that simple secrets are great to have; it makes modern life a bit more interesting.

“I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if only one hides it.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

There is so much information available to all of us at any given moment; secrecy is now a rare commodity.

Besides posting online your favorite reading spot in the park, why not keep it to yourself?

Secrets Make You More Like A Book To Read Rather Than A Poster

Before, it would take time to get to know someone and all of their quirks. Now it takes about 1 minute on their social media page, and you pretty much know all about them.

When you see them in person, there is no mystery about them; there is no discovery through conversations to get to know someone because you looked at their page and saw all of the places they went, the food they tried, and the hobbies they have.

When you do see them in person, what is there to talk about? Maybe subjects like politics, religion, philosophy, or literature? No, most people would rather discuss what they see on social media.

Now I am as guilty of this internet/social media cycle as anyone else. I am only pointing out this pattern and wondering if it is harming our society.

I have social platforms for “When Stars Misguide Us,” but I do not have any personal accounts. I stopped my personal social media accounts when I was around 22 years old. To be honest, this blog (my website) is the only online place where I share my thoughts and images.

I read books and looked at old photos from 19th-century America, and there was so much mystery in the air and people’s lives. Everything was slower, but at the same time fast and modern. It seemed that during that time, there was a lot of diverse dialogue between people.

Conversations Are Art

The most amazing thing about a conversation is that they do not last long. Once they are spoken, the conversation forever vanishes, and only the individuals who were there listening will ever know the words that were spoken; it will be kept alive only in memory.

I am, of course, talking about natural conversations among people that aren’t being recorded. So forget about podcasts, newscasts, TV shows, etc., out of your mind.

“Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

There is art and beauty in getting to know one another through words. In a face-to-face conversation, all of your physical and mental senses are working. From hearing and smelling to analyzing and reacting, a conversation takes almost everything from us.

I enjoy having conversations in person with anyone because every time I talk to someone, I feel like it is a chess match. I am trying to strategize and get better, and no matter who my opponent is, I will always learn new things. I do not play to win, but only to learn. Some may play to win, but I am not one of them.

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Misguided Purpose

December 28, 2025

By focusing on meaningful connections, artistic expression, and the pursuit of truth, we can find a more fulfilling and authentic source of purpose in this changing and distracting modern world in which we find ourselves living.

Image taken by the author in Boston, MA

In this modern, contemporary society, with all its complexity, it is easy to get lost and feel misguided.

Misguided with no purpose.

Maybe you thought you had a purpose, and years go by and you find out that it wasn’t your purpose.

What is the purpose? What does purpose mean in modern society today?

In times long ago, purpose only meant to work and feed your family, or purpose meant obeying your master, or doing what the king told you to do. Humanity, for the most part, always looked to religion as giving them purpose, but what about today?

We can search and get answers to almost any subject in seconds, food from all over the world is all around us, cars and planes can take us anywhere, and we can listen to any kind of music as much as we want as long as we want on one streaming platform. We are the only society in human history with all of this comfort.

Nowadays, when you ask someone what they think their purpose is they might say their job, family, dreams, or money. Are they correct? I am not sure.

I think about the concept of purpose almost every day. I believe my purpose is my family, and searching for the truth.

Continuing on the concept of purpose, what does it truly mean? Why were we created, and what for?

Today, I can see that people are putting meaning in the wrong places. Places that don’t truly give back to their souls, or their overall lives.

These places make finding a meaning to life harder to search for.

The places I am referring to are social media, wanting to be like celebrities, consumerism, addictions, resentment, wanting to prove other people wrong, feeling that you know everything, and that you are always right.

These concepts trap people into a box, and then the individual will keep digging themselves deeper, and after some time has passed, they are lost without meaning.

What can replace these concepts?

The search for truth. Questioning yourself, authority, government, society, and so on. A soulful quest to figure out what is right and wrong.

A thought that comes to my mind is that our civilization is not set.

How we are living isn’t how we have been living for centuries, nor is it how we will live for centuries to come.

We will always be changing as a society, and so will our concept or view of what a human’s purpose is. The only answers I have come up with for what purpose we all have in this modern society are loving relationships with one another, bonding with humans and nature, creating art to find meaning to questions that can’t be answered with words, researching and writing in search of the truth, and believing that what we do has a purpose in the end.

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I Care, But I Have To Protect My Own Heart

December 23, 2025

The struggles between wanting to make a difference and facing the resistance and ingratitude that often accompany such efforts.

Image Created in Canva AI by Author

I Want To Help

Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and seen a glimpse of their soul, felt a bit of their emotions?

A wave of empathy comes over me, and I want to help them, but how could I?

Everyone’s lives are so complex, and by the time you are 25, who you are is pretty much concrete. I am not saying that your choices are concrete; I am saying that your soul’s identity is concrete.

I want to help you, but how could I?

You sit there and pour out your problems to me, and I am listening, but knowing well that I can’t help you. Over the many years that I have known you, I saw the choices you made, and every negative choice you made, I knew that you didn’t want to hear from me.

How do I know this?

Because every time I tried to give you positive advice, you would get offended, say something mean to me, and continue to make your choices.

Now I sit and listen to the after-effects of all the negative choices you have made throughout the years, and you never wanted me to help you; you only wanted to be better than me, but how could you be better than me when we are equal, when we are all nothing compared to the universe?

Now I sit here late at night listening to your sorrows, and I feel bad for you, but I can’t give you my true thoughts and feelings; I can listen to you.

I tell you I wish I could give you good advice, and you tell me there is no helping me, I either stop doing what I am doing, or I don’t.

Sailing Away From Everything

I gave up helping people when I turned 25 years old.

I used to sit and talk with people for hours on multiple occasions. I would talk to people about their dreams, stress, relationships, future, etc., and try to help them have a clearer vision of their lives.

I would suggest books, friends, songs, advice, and careers that would fit them, but honestly, it would help them for a short amount of time, and then they would abandon our friendship in a mean way, and never talk to me or anyone else about the valuable information I gave them.

Instead, they would talk badly about me, or talk about the things I helped them with, and suggest that they figured it out on their own or that someone else helped them.

Now I am growing jaded and do not spend my time helping people emotionally, even though I have a desire in my heart to do so.

I only focus on my wife, daughter, and some family members’ emotions.

Many of my family members have hurt me emotionally more than a dozen times.

I only have a handful of friends and family that I still trust—in a matter of a year, coincidentally, the year my wife and I had our first child, friends and family disappeared from my life one by one, including my wife’s family and friends.

I am an open-hearted guy, and I am a listener. When I talk to someone, I make sure there is eye contact, and my attention is fully on them and the words that they are speaking. I try to be gentle and honest with the words I tell them.

Most of the people who disappeared from my life left dramatically or rudely.

Somehow, even when I am being positive, people get offended by what I say, and it ruins the relationship.

What did I do wrong?

Maybe I think too deeply, maybe I feel too much, maybe I need to be more hollow.

Photo of the author in Boston, MA, taken by the author’s wife

Social Links:

Website: Whenstarsmisguideus.com

Email: Whenstarsmisguideus@yahoo.com

Stars Misguide Music: Spotify | Youtube

Instagram: @WhenStarsMisguideUs

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I am Going To Jupiter

December 6, 2025

An unforgettable mini-road trip to a clear blue ocean with the people I love.

Endless Searching

It is Saturday and I wake up early contemplating what I should do for my wife for her birthday, it is on Tuesday but we want to celebrate on the weekend.

For the rest of the day I am brainstorming we have been together since high school so we have done almost everything we wanted to do in Central Florida.

We have gone to amusement parks, hotels, resorts, restaurants, local spots, parks, beaches, etc. It is now midnight and I am still up brainstorming. The equation is a little more complicated because we have an 18-month-old baby and I am trying to figure out a plan that works out for all of us.

Then it clicked! Jupiter Beach! My wife and daughter love the beach. I do not like the beach that much, I mean it’s beautiful and I love the ocean. My favorite animal is an ocean animal (orca whale) but I can only stay for an hour or so then I want to leave.

It is 1 am and I am googleing my heart out to create a quick plan on what to do. A tactic that tends to work is Google Map the destination and zoom in and look at all the restaurants and places nearby and google what they look like and their reviews because when you google places to eat near “destination” it is only places that won the SEO game and you may miss some hidden gems.

I wake up my wife and baby daughter early in the morning. Also, my little brother (19 years old) said he is down to go with us. The drive from where I live is 2hrs 20min. We are not staying at a hotel, we are going there and coming back on the same day.

Our baby daughter is truly an angel from above.

She is in the back seat singing her toddler songs, laughing, and having a great time with my wife, and then after an hour she falls asleep and wakes up when we get to our destination.

Quarters For Life

We made only one rest stop 10 min before our destination because I had to use the restroom and couldn’t hold it. We all take a break and stretch our legs and I head over to the vending machines to show my daughter how it works because she has never seen one.

There is a machine that says get change and I think in my head great I could use some dollar bills, and I put in a twenty dollar bill.

Quarters started pouring out (twenty dollars worth) and I felt so stupid. Of course, it’s quarters but it didn’t say it on the machine, but it makes sense and now I have all the quarters in the world.

I get my baby mini chocolate chip muffins and we all get water bottles and snacks (since I have so many quarters).

As we are getting our snacks I look behind me and feel a bad presence. I look and an older white man with grey short hair is staring at my daughter.

He didn’t know I was looking at him.

The way he was looking at her still haunts me. It was disgusting and evil.

I look at him and I am angry and I am about to make my way towards him and he sees me looking at him and looks terrified and starts to move quickly away.

I tell my brother, my wife, and my daughter that we need to leave now.

We head into the car and as we are driving away I see him wandering around in the grass area of the rest stop by himself.

He gave me the creeps and reminded me how dangerous this world is.

Another Beach Another Planet

We arrive at the beach and right before you get to the beach there are benches and grills and cabanas for people to BBQ at and behind that are tons of beautiful palm trees hiding the beach.

There are a lot of people from all kinds of backgrounds. You can hear people speaking Spanish and on the other side, you can hear country music.

There was so much diversity but even with all this diversity everyone stopped and stared at us when we arrived.

I and my brother look different because we are mixed with Argentina and Guyanese but we look mixed with Spanish or Middle Eastern, and my wife is white American with an England background so that makes my child a mutt maybe that was why we were getting looks?

Oh, and my brother has blue hair wearing a metal spiked belt with ripped jeans looking like a classic punk rocker mixed with a Johnny Depp vibe; so that might of been the other reason why everyone stopped and stared.

I looked at everyone and smiled and said hello, and everyone smiled and said hello back. They were nice and relaxed people.

We finally hit the sand and it is blazing hot so we have run and set up our umbrella for the day. My 18-month-old daughter doesn’t fear much, even the ocean.

This is only her second time in her life going to the ocean (the first time she walked straight in the water and a wave hit her face and she stood there with a big smile and yelled out Beach!) and she still has no fear.

I pick her up and we all head into the ocean. The water is cold and refreshing. The water is blue and clear. My daughter sees boats up ahead and starts saying Ponyo (an anime movie that she loves; she loves studio Ghibli movies).

Also, she plays a game where she takes her water shoes off while we are in the ocean and tosses them and starts saying “Oh no, oh no, shoe” and we all pretend to panic and grab it for her and give it back to her and she starts cracking up. We hang out and build sand castles, eat fruits and snacks, go in the water, get sea shells for about four hours and then we head out for food.

Photo taken by author

Pizza Planet

On my search at 1 am, I found a pizza spot that had over one thousand positive Google reviews. We head over. But before we head over there was another spot I wanted to check out that was by a lighthouse.

It is the part of the ocean where spring water meets ocean water and it seemed interesting to check out.

We arrive and all we see are security cars and cop cars everywhere. I find it odd. We parked and headed over. There are tons of people everywhere and they are not friendly.

I am still smiling and saying hello to people but not one person is saying anything back to me; only mean glances. The water was completely still, clear, and up to our ankles to say the least it was boring. The smell of weed, sweat, and alcohol was taking over the air.

Six teenage boys were cursing and fist-fighting over a simple football game that was in the water, and there were children left unattended in the water while all the parents were drunk (it was only 3 pm).

I did not like the environment at all and now can see why there were so many cops present. Oh, and on the right-hand side, it was blocked off and it was the ocean with personal boats zooming by.

We head to the pizza.

The pizza shop was located in a new outdoor shopping plaza that had a merry-go-round, splash pad (my daughter loved it), frozen yogurt, restaurants, whole foods, and my favorite store rei co-op.

The pizza tasted amazing! It was a mix of Brooklyn-style pizza and flatbread pizza.

Photo taken by author

Next to the pizza spot was a toddler and baby clothing store.

We enter the store and it is fancy with high prices. A basic shirt was $40 and a dress for her was $60. In the back of the store, there was a table with a play tea set for children to play with and my daughter started playing.

The store owner, a Guatemalan woman with three kids of her own, came up to her and started talking to my daughter like a baby.

My daughter looks at her and says “Hi, teacup” and hands the store owner the teacup.

The store owner jumps up in shock and says OMG she can talk? I said yes she says hundreds of words and even almost knows all of her ABCs.

She said “It scared me because she looks too small to talk. We started talking to each other and she fell in love with my daughter and started to give her toys to take home for free.

I told her no it is okay and she insisted we did because she is too cute and smart. My daughter of course was loving this and was showing off all her words and jokes. The store owner gave her a light-up chicken and I asked my daughter what sound a chicken makes she said “Pok Pok Pok” and wobbled her feet and body like a chicken.

The store owner said to me that the world is a crazier place now than it was ten years ago. I said, “Yes, the world will always be crazy, but it is the relationships that we build that will keep us safe, not money or items”. I said, “that is why my whole life I always focused deeply on building lasting relationships with people, and if they can hang or don’t want to I let them go”. She looked at me astonished and said I can see you running for the presidency. We all laughed.

She said bye to all of us and we all said thank you, and she told me and my wife that we have lovely family and that my daughter is social just like her dad.

We end the day buying random gelato ice creams, teas, and snacks at Whole Foods, and my daughter plays with other toddlers at the splash pad.

We drive back home and our daughter takes over an hour’s nap and wakes up happy. The entire long day we had and she never once cried, or whined.

I have two little brothers, two little nieces, and two little cousins that I have seen all grow up and also helped take care of, and it is just not common in my perspective for a baby to not cry once.

For the majority of her life, she has not cried, whined, or had a temper tantrum. I know she is young and it will get more complicated, but I know that she is special and my wife and I are blessed to have her.

My wife puts on her favorite movie on my wife’s phone My Neighbor Totoro.

It was a beautiful and amazing memory that me, my wife, my brother, and my daughter will always have and cherish.

Getting lost is sometimes what your soul needs. You never know where your soul will lead you.

Photo taken by author

For some reason when my daughter is happy and content, it makes me want to cry with joy. At night I lay in bed and wonder how I got so lucky to have her soul be a part of my life. She has my soul. My wife has my heart.

Social Links:

Website: Whenstarsmisguideus.com

Email: Whenstarsmisguideus@yahoo.com

Stars Misguide Music: Spotify | Youtube

Instagram: @WhenStarsMisguideUs

© All content published on When Stars Misguide Us, including but not limited to text, images, and multimedia, is the intellectual property of When Stars Misguide Us and is protected by copyright laws.
I Was Only In Kindergarten

November 28, 2025

My first real teacher (besides pre-k) was emotionally vulnerable in front of me and she made unfair attempts to reprimand me which contributed to my skepticism about the role and integrity of educators.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Misguided Relationships: My relationships with teachers

I went to preschool when I was three and four years old, but I did not go to school too much because my mom was a stay-at-home mom, so she would keep me at home with her and teach me.

When I entered kindergarten I already knew how to read, and write. I was writing in cursive and print.

When I started kindergarten I believed that teachers were people to look up to and I admired their profession, but as time went on I learned at a young age that teachers are only people and they arent people to be guided by fully.

My kindergarten teacher had a son who was my age and I believe she wanted to compare me and him.

I was a smart, quiet, well-behaved child, and she would make up things to get me in trouble. What did I do when I got in trouble? I would cry my eyes out. Why would I cry my eyes out?

Because I wanted to do the right thing for myself, society, and God (I was in a private Christian school). I would cry so much that they would have to call my parents. What are the things I would get in trouble for? She would say I was talking to girls during nap time, and I wasn’t.

These girls all liked me and would scoot their mats towards mine and talk to me and I would ignore them, but she would try to blame me even though you could hear little girls talking to me and me not responding.

She accused me of cheating on my math HW because she said my number 5 looked too good to be written by a kindergarten student. So after class my parents came in and she had to watch me with my parents write the number 5 on paper multiple times and to her astonishment it was me writing that number.

Also, the thing that she did that hurt me the most, that I loved reading and writing at a young age, was she put me in the lowest reading group when I was reading better than the highest reading group.

Even the kids would ask me why I wasn’t in the higher reading group, and she didn’t put me in the higher reading group until the last quarter of the year (I was reading chapter books by then and the books in class were like 15 pages with one sentence on them).

I am not a teacher but not that I am older I feel that it might have been wrong to openly tell a bunch of 5-year-olds that you are the low readers and you are the high readers and separate us.

Now there are other examples but you get the gist of it.

The icing on the cake that would make me question the concept of teachers and their roles in society at a young age would be seeing my teacher cry.

It would be multiple times a week and my mom would stay after school to help my teacher clean up and set up class for the next day. I would be in the classroom with my little brother who I would help take care of and play with him until we had to leave.

On multiple occasions, my teacher would be talking to my mom and then start crying and telling her how awful all the teachers were to her at the school and about other life concepts.

Seeing my teacher cry at such a young age revealed to me that they are only human and it made me question them (authority) on what they thought was right and wrong. She tried to get me in trouble for things I know she knew I didn’t do; in my head it made me question her morals and her leadership. I thought to myself this can’t be all teachers.

My first real teacher (besides pre-k) was emotionally vulnerable in front of me and she made unfair attempts to reprimand me which contributed to my skepticism about the role and integrity of educators.

These incidents humanized teachers for me but also made me question their authority and judgments. These experiences planted seeds of doubt in my mind about the reliability and morality of those in positions of power and education.

If this was my only incident with teachers in my life then I would say that I am being over dramatic, but sadly it isn’t. From elementary to high school, and even college I have similar stories of teachers which ultimately led me to feel misguided in the concept of society that is supposed to make me feel guided: Education.

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Father

November 12, 2025

Today is my birthday and I have turned 30 years old. Here are my thoughts and feelings.

Being a dad gives me purpose in my life

I am feeling so emotional. I love my life and everyone in it. I love my kids and my wife.

Emily and Vincent are truly perfect. Being a father and husband gives me purpose in my life that I have been looking for since I was a child.

All these years that have passed by me where I was searching for an answer through religion, Jesus, spirituality, souls, writing, creating music, music, relationships, reading books, creating, ideas, sports, friends, etc. everything I tried and every relationship does not come close to being a father and husband.

Being a father to my kids and spending time with them and talking to them and playing with them for hours everyday is my purpose and give me so much joy and emotions that it makes me want to cry with happiness.

I am so glad that I had kids because it is the greatest feeling that a human can experience in my opinion. I know that being a parent or having kids or being married isn’t for everyone because nothing is for everyone.

I know that parenthood is going to get more difficult as they grow old and one day they will have their own family, but I am ready for all of it.

Working with Sara raising our kids is something that I love doing.

I love all the small moments we have with our new family.

I love when we all are hanging around and doing nothing just talking and making each other laugh and making silly sounds.

We all give each other 100 percent attention and thoughts and emotions.

I wish these days didn’t go by so fast and I wish that I could pause these moments or at least capture them and put them away so that maybe one day I can experience it again.

Image of Author

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Do We Live Forever In Words That No One Will Ever Read?

November 4, 2025

A man alone in a lighthouse writing to his true love who has vanished from this earth some time ago.

Lighthouse Ghost Stories

We will be together soon my love, I am here writing about you, and for you.

You see this lighthouse gets lonely since I am the only one here, but I will shine this light into the night and wait for you to arrive again.

I have stories that will last a lifetime, and I will write them down in this journal. The sad truth is there is no one here to read these stories, only me. Will our lives, our love stories, vanish from this world?

Does anyone care about the stories we had before you left this earth before you left me behind?

I am writing these stories down with ink so our love will last forever. Someone may find this book and carry on our lives.

Word lasts forever and so do souls.

Oh, how I miss you, my love! Every wave that crashes onto this lighthouse, reminds me of your lovely kisses.

Even though I am isolated from society, living and working in this lighthouse, I feel purpose here. I am better here knowing that I am saving these ships from destruction.

At night is when I feel you the most. The empty spiraling staircase reminds me of when we would dance together in the darkness. My hand holding yours and your body spinning as your dress floats and spins in the air for a brief moment of time.

I will wait for your return. That is all I can do.

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