Being apart of a tribe could help you feel more content
Being disconnected from people is serious, and could be the cause for feeling down at times. I have been reading books and watching videos on youtube on the topic of happiness, or ways not to be depressed. I believe that happiness doesn’t exist, and that what can lead to a healthy and content life is having meaningful and loving relationships with people. Not online, but rather face to face, in person conversations. Using all our senses, and giving your full attention eye to eye with another human being. Talking back and forth about the things on your mind, hearing the other person’s voice. You will find that the more meaningful relationships you create the more confident and content you will feel about your life. We are creatures that have evolved together not alone. We need each other to survive life. If you are alone it does not mean you have to be alone.
Finding Human Connections
You can change your situation by discovering things you are interested in and signing up for classes, or just going to those environments where people are doing the things you are interested in. Talk to people more, and try to find people who have a caring heart. I know that it might seem crazy or impossible, but there are amazing people out there, and you will feel better if you create relationships with good people. Don’t let society misguide you, and think that you are more powerful alone than with other caring human beings. Our species survived for thousands of years together, not alone. Yearning to be a part of a group or tribe is a part of our ancestry. Don’t fight it, but embrace it, and try to understand it.
Loneliness Is On The Rise
Loneliness is on the rise, and I believe we need to take a step back and analyze why? There are many reasons why loneliness may be rising, one of them is the disconnection we have from people. Now I am talking from a western civilization point of view. I was born in America and raised here. As I grow up I am realizing how lonely your life can get. Loneliness does not mean you do not have any “friends” or that you do not have anyone to talk to. Loneliness is the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else (Lost Connections, Johann Hari, Book). That concept is very powerful. Think about it, all day you may talk to a good amount of different people at work, or at stores, but none of it was you and them sharing anything that matters to both of you. I mean talking to strangers is very healthy and I do encourage it. At times when I feel lonely or down and I go out to the store or the gym and have a short discussion with someone it makes me feel a bit better inside for that day, but not for the whole week. Relationships that we can trust and that we are close to are so important to our overall health. People that we share moments of joy and sorrow with in our lives, relationships that are healthy, and meaningful relationships on both sides, for you and the other individual is truly connected to our human core.
Our human core is tribalism. All our ancestors came from tribes. We hunted together, killed giant beasts together, helped each other when we were sick, and so on. Just because we are more civilised now does not mean that we are genetics and our brain is completely rewired. It’s still in us, that need to belong to a tribe of people who care about one another. Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. It is true! There is an interesting study on this concept that I watched on a ted talk called “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger” my mom actually sent me this video and it changed my mindset a bit. On a personal note I am always looking for meaningful relationships wherever I go. Whether it is the gym, a store, or school. I try to talk and have interesting conversations with anyone I meet. Why do I try to talk to people? I try to talk to as many people as I can because I am on a hunt for meaningful relationships and connections with humans. I want to be connected to a tribe. A good question to ask yourself would be “How many people could I truly say are in the same tribe as me?”. My answer to this question, which includes my family, would be five people. To help answer this question you can think about who can you turn to when things go wrong? Who can you turn to when things go right? Solving this problem and seeing how many people you are connected to is a great personal development exercise. Once you see the number and you are happy with it but you want a bigger tribe, then go for it! If you see your number and think to yourself I need a tribe because I am the only one in it, then go out there and start searching.
Questions To Better Understand Yourself
Here are interesting questions that are somewhat relevant. Feel free to answer some of these questions in the comments below. I would be very interested in what you think and your anwer!
- How many people are you in contact with everyday?
- How many of those people are you close to?
- Who are you sharing moments of joy with in your life?
- How many people could I truly say are in the same tribe as me?
- Who can you turn to when things go wrong?
- Who can you turn to when things go right?
- Here is the Ted Talk that is a must listen “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger”
- Book Referenced: Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope by Johann Hari
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