Trust Is Everything

Trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship, yet after countless relationships — friends, family, co-workers — testing and breaking it, I’ve learned to stay misguided. I hold no fixed beliefs because trust, like everything else, can be broken.

There are many reasons why I stay misguided.

One of the few relationships that has remained unbroken is with my wife. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for two.

Her soul reminds me that trust, while rare, is not impossible. But outside of this, I’ve learned to protect myself by keeping people at a distance.

I am a zero or a hundred type of person, meaning that when I am in a conversation with you or a relationship of any sort I give it my all or nothing.

This might not be the correct way to conduct my life, but it is how my soul works.

Conversations Mean A Lot To Me

I’ve always been a person who listens deeply.

I’ll hear your life story, introduce you to new music, art, or hobbies, and encourage you to chase your dreams. People often tell me, “Let’s get deep,” and I do. I analyze their lives, personalities, and existence — not to judge, but to reflect.

I begin to talk about and analyze their lives, personalities, and existence. I never tell them what to do with their lives, and I never tell them if they are doing anything wrong or right, because I truly don’t know what is wrong and right in our society.

I mean I understand the obvious things that are wrong or right, but not the average things.

I only talk to them as if I were their mirror to their souls.

The conversations usually end well, and they leave happy and determined. Personally, I never feel any sort of emotion because I am only analyzing.

Now that I am older, I try to avoid these conversations because I know what it leads to, and it is not worth it to me anymore.

What Does It Lead To?

It leads to the individual for a month or so not wanting to talk to me or text me, and when they do finally ask to see me again, they are rude to me.

They try to find faults in my life, but it is hard for them to because I keep my personal things to myself, and even when I do express what is on my mind, I am open to figuring it out.

I analyze my own choices and existence and try to solve it as a math problem.

When they return, they’re often distant or even hostile, nitpicking my life or saying hurtful things. They look for flaws but find little because I keep my personal struggles private.

I never fully get close to someone because people have hurt me too many times when I did. Even at a young age, I knew not to trust anyone (this was my motto in elementary).

It sounds like I was being rude or said something hurtful to them, but I can honestly say that I did not. Whenever I see this individual, whether at school, a restaurant, or a family gathering, there is no bad blood. They come up to me and say hi, and everything is great.

I do not curse at people, I never yell or get angry, and I do not say anything that may hurt them.

I can say this confidently because I analyze myself as I talk to people and take great care in the word choices I make.

When talking with anyone, I can sense their soul when I look into their eyes and hear their voice. Looking at their body language, and listening for keywords that they say that might be hiding how they truly feel inside, and where they truly are in their lives.

When I say soul, I don’t necessarily mean it spiritually but rather emotionally.

Staying Misguided

I don’t write this to sound superior or enlightened. I tell people all the time: “I don’t fully believe the words I’m saying because I’m always evolving — adding, subtracting, and questioning my life.”

Despite this constant change, my core — my soul — has remained the same since I was four years old. Anyone who has known me that long would agree.

So here I am, still analyzing myself, still trying to understand what it all means. Maybe I need to learn balance, to be less 0-or-100. Or maybe this is just who I am.

What do you think? How do you balance trust and self-protection in your own life?

All I Can Do Is Love You

Find yourself, fall in love, and explore life.

Stay Misguided

Social Links:

Website: Whenstarsmisguideus.com

Email: Whenstarsmisguideus@yahoo.com

Stars Misguide Music: Spotify | Youtube

YouTube Channel: YouTube