When Stars Misguide Us

I am a curious person searching for truth within conversations because the truth is hidden in words, but it tends to leave me with not many friends.

I tend to talk with confidence and look people in the eyes when they are speaking to me. I am 100 percent focused on what people have to say to me, and I listen intently.

We can learn so much about ourselves and the world from listening to people talk. No matter who they are I try to learn something from every conversation I have with everyone I talk to.

On a side note, I have had thousands of friends in my life because I am a sociable person, and I also have a big family that introduces me to their friends. Also, I am not afraid to talk to strangers, I actually enjoy it.

Once I have multiple conversations with someone they usually begin to ask me questions and want to know more about who I am and my life because I usually don’t discuss my life only if someone asks me.

Most of the conversation is me listening to the speaker and trying to get to know them and understand their life.

Once I start discussing my life people tend to get rubbed the wrong way.

Why you ask?

Because I love living, and I love the life that I am creating. I have a circle of family and friends that I love and care for and I know they love and care for me.

Yes, I have struggles and stress like everyone else on this planet but all in all, I am content and happy about my life.

I am determined to keep growing as an individual. I want to become the best version of myself.

I am confident in my words but at the same time, I am questioning the words I speak.

I do not believe wholeheartedly in the concepts that I believe in and I know that they can change as I grow old, and some concepts I will believe in for the rest of my life but it does not mean that they are true or that I am right.

I do not even know what is fundamentally right or wrong. Life is too complex for me to ever have an answer to that.

I openly express these concepts to people and they tend to get annoyed with me and sooner or later try to hurt me with words.

Not everyone does this but the majority of people I’ve encountered (all backgrounds, and ages) at some point said hurtful things to me. I believe it is because they are confused about how someone can believe in something but be okay knowing that they might not be right about it, but still have beliefs and morals.

An example would be when I met two twin sisters in my developmental psychology class. I got to know them, and they enjoyed talking to me. I invited them out to Disney Springs with me and my wife and we had a good time, we talked and hung out for 2 semesters, then the third semester they wanted to get to know me more, so they began to ask questions.

They told me I didn’t like music and I didn’t know anything about music and I told them music is my passion and I can play guitar, bass, piano, and I create my own songs using digital software, and that I also have music released on Spotify. They were in shock because they thought they knew me but they didn’t. So they assumed.

Long story short the friendship ended because they kept putting me down saying mean comments about false accusations about my life. It started to get strange, I believe that my sophistication and not revealing my life all at once made them second guess themselves.

Another example would be in college I made a friend, and we were friends for two years and we would talk about complex concepts with each other.

One night we were talking about ghosts and scary movies and she said she didn’t believe in ghosts and I said that’s strange that you don’t believe in ghosts but you believe in spirits.

She looked at me angrily and was offended.

I said what is wrong?

She said that I wasn’t a good Christian and said I didn’t pray.

I was confused. I told her I believe in God or a higher being but what does that have to do with anything?

Somehow a simple light question about ghosts and spirits ended our friendship.

To this day I am genuinely confused about how you can believe in spirits but not ghosts. Aren’t they the same thing in a way?

I am a curious person and sometimes my curiosity leads to confusion for the person I am talking to and then it turns into a ended relationship, but I honestly can’t and won’t stop being curious because that’s who I am.

One day I will find like-minded people (besides my wife and family) who are as curious as me and won’t get easily offended by concepts.

See I never like putting people down, hurting anyone’s feelings, talking about drama or life issues, or talking about nonsensical things.

I only like understanding people’s beliefs, lives, and perspectives on concepts that relate to our existence.

I have had many of these strange encounters with people. I try my best to be understanding and to get to know them.

I even discuss things about myself and make jokes, but somehow the more people get to know me and the different sides of my life and perspectives of life it seems to only make things more messy.

I understand to have friends you must share stories of misery with one another, but in my perspective, we can learn from that misery and speak in a positive way, in an actionable way where we can take action and slowly fix it besides sulking in it.

I also understand that some things in life can’t be fixed, but we must keep on living.

I was never the type of person to pause my life for any reason and trust me I have had traumatic events happen in my life, but we must keep on going and living.

Trust in yourself, and try to find a group of people that love you and you love.

Maybe all this is in my head, or maybe I am onto something, or maybe I am only ranting. Maybe I need to not push people to think when talking and only do it to people who can handle it, but sadly I can’t do that because deep down inside me there is a burning desire to make people think.

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